Mommyhood: Day 11.

Hello World! My name is Jill and I am a Mom.  A FREAKING MOM! 11 days in and I still cannot believe it.  So far it has been the most wonderful, terrifying, emotional, exhausting, BEST THING EVER!!

Much like my pregnancy, I feel super blessed with how everything went down with delivery and how everything is going currently with our new babe. Many people warned me that with this being my first pregnancy, little miss would likely be a few days late, but I had a pretty strong intuition that she would be here before Christmas, and that she was!  The  Saturday night before she was born Shain and I went out to a fancy pants dinner at one of our favorite restaurants and then met up with some friends that were in town.  Little did we know that would be our last night out for a while as that night/early next morning I went into labor!

We ended up going to the hospital at 4:30am Sunday morning as my contractions were pretty regular at that point, but they ended up sending us home as I was just not quite there yet.   When I asked the Nurse how I would know when it was time to come back, she simply replied with “Oh, you will know”.  At the time, that frustrated me because I wasn’t sure I WOULD know. How the heck would I know?! I don’t know what this is supposed to feel like! What if Shain has to deliver our baby in the hallway? Or in the car?! I just bought this car! Well, the remainder of the day my contractions got more painful, so I soaked in the tub, took a walk, did all the things they tell you to do and then exactly 12 hours later from our first hospital visit, Shain was speeding down the road back to the hospital gripping my left hand as my right hand was ready to rip the oh sh*t bar out of the car (He was actually very concerned I would rip it out, haha). Okay Nurse, you were right.  I definitely knew.  It was game time.

Once we got to the hospital, I laughed about how earlier that morning the Nurse at the front desk asked if I needed a wheelchair and how I politely declined. This time around I could barely make it the 10 feet from our car to the door, dear GOD get that wheelchair over here!  But honestly, once they got me all hooked up and got the pain meds in, it was all gravy. I wish I could tell you that I fought through another 12 hours of contractions with no epidural and have you think I am super tough.  Nope, I welcomed that big ole needle like a long lost friend.  Maybe next time I will go for the all natural…maybe.  Anyways, once the pain subsided we spent the rest of night dozing in and out of sleep, watching Christmas movies and just waited for things to progress.  Baby girl descended very slowly but once I was at 9cm the Doctor decided to finally break my water and we got the pushing party started a little before 5am.  25 minutes later she was out! I could not believe how seamless it all went! Despite not sleeping for pretty much two days straight, it all could not have gone better.

You know the saying…”when time stands still”?  I experienced that the moment Rocklyn was out and they put her on my chest.  I seriously sobbed for a solid 30 minutes and had no recollection of anything going on around me.  Poor Shain finally tapped me on the shoulder and was like “Ummm…is it okay if I hold her now?”.  What a jerk I am! I literally didn’t even know how much time had passed at that point.  The world just stopped. One of the best moments in my entire life.

Many people have asked if there is a story behind her name as it is a little different, but quite honestly there really isn’t.  We really liked the idea of the nickname Rocky- it is cute, strong and different.  Not to mention, it is one of Shain’s favorite films that represents overcoming odds and determination. So when we were toying with what names could produce a nickname like that, Rocklyn kept popping in my head.  As we went back and forth on other ideas for names the last few months, that one just kept coming back.

Rocklyn is now 11 days old and things are going great. We have had one really bad night where the poor thing had a bad case of gas and screamed for hours and hours, which I am pretty sure was entirely my fault from something I ate that afternoon.  But we got through it and knock on wood, things are going well.  She sleeps well through the night, besides of course having to be woken up to eat, is nursing really well and her temperament is totally chill which is quite the relief.

There is a lot we are learning still and lots of trial and error of course. It is a little overwhelming to constantly think about following all the rules that the doctor/nurses/lactation consultants gave, make sure she has this many wet diapers, is eating this many times a day, don’t do this, don’t do that etc.  But the biggest lesson I have learned so far this early in the game is that I just have to be in tune to our baby and treat those rules as guidelines.  It is much more enjoyable for all of us that way- so I’ve just been kind of letting her take the lead as we all figure each other out.

I already see this world through a whole different set of eyes which has taken some getting used to.  My happiness and newfound love for this little human is also accompanied by constant anxiety/worry of all the things that could happen, so that is something I am working through.  I still however feel blessed beyond belief right now.  What a cool new chapter this will be, thanks for all the love 🙂