Numbers.

It is has officially happened.  The Crossfit/lifting world warned me about this and I have been fighting it for a year now.  None of my jeans fit.  Even when I do the “Locigno butt dance” to get them on… I feel like I might pass out from lack of oxygen.  No, it is not because I have been eating cake every day (man, that would be awesome).  It is because my strength is finally starting to build.  Let’s hope goodwill has some good jean options.

It reminds me yet again of all the focus we put on numbers.  The number on the scale.  The number on that dress, those pair of jeans.  Or even worse, how our “numbers” compare to everyone else.

Numbers are a bunch of crap if you ask me.   The only numbers you should truly be worried about are your cholesterol, resting heart rate, blood pressure etc.  Everything else?  Not so important.  I was just having this conversation with my CF coach this week about that dreaded BMI test that you do at the doctors office and we were laughing about it.   Because according to this scale, we are both overweight or close to it.  No really, if I punch in my height and weight and hit calculate I get an “ALERT YOU ARE OVERWEIGHT!”.   So I have a little dinosaur age calculator telling me I am a fatty… then at the same time I get people saying things like “you are so small, lucky you!”.   I mean really, can you blame somebody for being a headcase about this kind of stuff?

Here is my challenge to you, tell those numbers to suck it.  In the past two years since getting more into Crossfit, I have put on a solid TEN POUNDS.  I used to range between 115-20 and now I am hovering 130.   I would be lying to you if I said that doesn’t bug me sometimes, simply because of how society has programmed us females.  The sad part is that I truly am cool with my body, but I still have my moments like every other human.  My body is something I should be proud of… why?  Because it has run 4 marathons, 9 half marathons, 2 half Ironmans and countless other races.  This body will be a Boston qualifier someday.   Since putting on that gradual ten pounds, I have PR after PR on all my Olympic lifts and my runs just keep getting faster.  You think I would want to trade that for a salad only diet and the ability to look decent in skinny jeans?? HELL NO!  If gaining more weight means gaining more strength and speed, bring it on.  I am not training for the Victoria Secret Fashion Show, I am training for life.

Stop thinking that if you just had that number on the scale, you would be happier.  Or if you could look like that person, your life would be so much better.  Those same people just might be looking at you and wishing they had what you have (yes, YOU).  What can your body do RIGHT NOW that you should be proud of?  Did your body give birth to some awesome human beings?  Can you squat 200 lbs?  Can your body walk up and down stairs with out pain?  Did those legs run their first 5k? Those are all things to be really proud of and every single one of you has at least one if not much more.  This is your journey, your body.  Just give it some love and take care of it,  because it is the only one we have.

 Stay blessed in the mess! 🙂